About six month ago, I talked to a guy online, but he was just “not doing it for me”. He was nice, pleasant, polite and a gentleman, but was just not “igniting my wick”. We stopped talking, and I proceeded towards other interests. Few weeks ago, he wrote to me again. It was a rainy day and I was bored. I replied and we started chatting. At the same time I was talking with a gentleman that I’ve seen already once, after my Boudoir photoshoot. He was nice and eager to see me again. Although he wanted to see me badly, as he was saying, he was struggling to arrange the date. His schedule was complicated, and he kept talking about issues with early check-in. I am still not sure what the issues are. And then … there is a 3rd guy! I met him once, for lunch, last Monday. It was a long, almost 3 hours lunch. We just kept talking … and as the time went by, the excitement, the desire, the cravings were just going up higher and higher. He tried not to show it and was rather quiet, but I could see that in his eyes. I could sense that he had this appetite for life, thirst for passion and excitement … but he was very subtle about it, and that was very erotic. … and did I mention that he was gorgeous.
My day-off (which was on Monday) was coming and I was ready for a rendezvous. I had 3 gentlemen eager to see me … and just had to make a choice. I decided to give a chance to all of them, but really wanted to see the 3rd one. On Friday, the 2nd guy, told me that he wouldn’t be able to make it, because of scheduling issues with the family. On Saturday, the 3rd guy, said that he had issues with discretion and can’t get away. So the only guy that was left was the 1st one. On Sunday, we agreed to meet at 6:00 pm for drinks. After lunch time, about 3:00pm I received a text message, where he was telling me that he was anxious to go to the restaurant because of Covid. I was surprised, to say the least. I do understand and respect his concerns, but the Covid has been an issue since March, … so why now, why did he think about it 3 hours before the date? I told him that he should stay home, and not go anywhere if he feels anxious…. so the date was cancelled!
So I ended up with no date! I am starting to loose faith in men … The website is full of hungry and eager men, all writing how they all want affairs, and excitement and passion … but when it comes down to action … what happens?
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I can relate to all these men as it happened to me many years ago when I was ready to go on a date for a winter weekend at a resort. Married and wanted some excitement and a mutual friend of ours set us up for a getaway and we didn’t know anything about each other, not even how we looked, we trusted our mutual friend. As the weekend approached my heart was racing with excitement, who was she, what was she liked, what did she look like……a whole weekend together doing naughty things in front of the fireplace with blistering snow blowing out the window…….as this played in my mind over and over, the sex was amazing and never enough, there was still something in the back of my mind that wouldn’t go away………………it was fear of getting caught and guilt! The guilt of letting my wife down, the kids, the whole family……..it was so strong it overcame my fantasy of the weekend getaway full of fun and frolic. Something happened to those 3 men and as a man, I would bet this also happened to them. But that was years ago…………today, no fear and no guilt. lol